Sunday, June 19, 2016

My Most Personal Blog Post Ever

Hello blog followers or anyone curious who has just found my blog out of curiosity. My past blog posts have dealt with television, music, books and movies that I love parts of my childhood and adult life that have made me the person that I am so I guess you could say that this is still a post dealing with me but is entirely different.

I have had something happen to me in the past few months which I will expand upon soon that has had so many things racing through my brain...stuff I want known to people while they are still here and while I am still here on this Earth before more life has to continue or those eventual prophecies of the end of times come upon us...because some people who should know these things are already gone though I am sure they already knew what was inside my heart. My following post is going to be very serious so if you only wish to read this as a means to persecute and ridicule me...please stop now. If I end up using some coarse language or make you have my permission to stop reading and leave. If you stay and read the whole thing...I hope you can learn from it.

So of course I was born on May 21st of 1983, a technical only child of my parents William and Kathy Lones, but with a half brother and sister about fourteen/fifteen years older. I was a very spoiled child and I could throw tantrums like no other child that is silly to look back on now and highly embarrassing and maybe now it kind of makes sense as to why I didn't have many friends growing up. I never have been good at sharing my toys and even now I don't really like to loan out my movies or books or CDs and I still can get miffed if I don't get my way. I don't think school really helped either especially if your first memory is being so upset being away from your mother for the first time you cry so hard and end up wetting your pants. Instead of being an understanding teacher/care giver to a young child, you sit them in a corner chair underneath a picture of a crying Precious Moments angel where the other children can have a good laugh at you because you obviously did something bad.

That memory has stuck inside my head for so long and of course many people think I'm making it up. I do have a very vivid and creative imagination, I always have, and yes I have told lies in the past...little white ones and some very Moby Dick sized whoppers that got me in trouble and even ostracized me from people but I wonder if it just wasn't some sort of mechanism I developed to make friends. I am also a very trusting person and I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt even though my past experiences should have a big fucking neon sign flashing STOP whenever I try. I guess being used, lied to, stolen from and losing faith will do that to a person but my gullible, naïve nature is something I try to hold on to because I feel myself becoming angry and cynical every day. With all the hate and stupidity going on in the world, how can I not?

So as stated I was a young child that had trouble making friends but being by myself I developed an imagination that could come up with many stories and games to play with my Barbie dolls and the My Little Ponies and Care Bears in my toy box and of course my mother recorded cartoon shows like The Smurfs and Jem and Pound Puppies for me to watch as well as buying Disney films and animated movies that powered my imagination even more. As much as those classics shaped me and then of course developing a love of reading to mold me even more...I truly wouldn't be me without the love that music had brought me.

Anyone who has read this blog or my music blog or even knowns me personally can tell you that I LOVE my music and that I love all kinds of music: rap, country, pop, rock, 50s, 60s a little bit of everything. Not many people may like what I do and believe me I get razzed A LOT on the things I enjoy but once I hear something that has lyrics or a beat that gets stuck in my head I will love it for life no matter how old I get...some things are just too nostalgic or personal to give up.

Everyone knows (or should by now) that my favorite band of all time is Heart. For those living under rocks or need short schooling: a band who gained commercial success in 1976 with a hard rock/ folk rock/ adult contemporary sound sometimes boarding on metal or soft rock in both aspects and led by the Wilson Sisters Ann, lead singer, and Nancy, guitarist. The late seventies were good for the band, the early 80s not so much with a huge come back in 1985 with their third line-up and ninth studio album self-titled which is where the two roads meet of Heart and I. I was two years old when the Heart album made it big for the band when MTV actually showed music videos and VH1 had nothing but music as well. You're probably wondering how a toddler can become such a big fan of a rock group and the answer is the music videos. 80s music videos were big and flashy with movement and colors so of course they can grab the attention of a child and make them stop for three or four minutes and sit down to watch just like cartoons have the same effect.

The poster that hangs on my wall

Being a girl where things like Barbie and The Rockers and Jem were aimed towards my demographic it's almost a moot point that I also liked Madonna , Paula Abdul, Janet Jackson and Pat Benatar. To see female rockers in person that are flesh and blood writing their own songs and singing the lyrics with powerful voices is a moving experience and I guess it struck a chord deep in me that not many artists have ever reached or at least for not a long while until I was older. So it began that Ann and Nancy Wilson became my inspiration for becoming the woman I am as well as beacons of hope, the ideals of what perfection is meant to be and of course the image of strength. Both women are so beautiful in many different ways that even if they don't believe it I find the paradigms of perfection, class and grace and talented to be my inspiration in every thing I write: my eternal muses.

2004 Meet And Greet with Ann and Nancy Wilson plus fellow Heartmongers Trav and Tim

Now it is not just the ladies of Heart that make the band talented all members past and present contribute to my love of the group. I always lean towards the 80s lineup that featured Denny Carmassi on drums and Mark Andes on bass because well that was the band I was exposed to but after discovering the band I bought tapes and vinyl and CDs of earlier albums and later ones and find enjoyment in everything Heart. There is no Heart song I hate but many I love more than others and every member past and present has my respect for what they add or added to the sound. My first crush coincidentally was on former Heart guitarist Howard Leese, about thirty two years my senior, and I couldn't care less how people feel about that...then or even now.

1998 show where I got to get a picture taken with Howard

Now it didn't start when I was two but as I got older the crush developed of course in the many stages crushes  develop: puppy love, adoration from afar, unrequited and truly impossible and has now become respectful with little traces here and there of the fan girl who blushes and squeals but with pride. It's very hard not to forget your first crush or blossom of romance and I have to thank Howard Leese for making me a romantic because with out a man to inspire me how could I ever write poems or stories about love in the first place? I developed other crushes on rock stars, musicians, actors and boys I went to school with and even though most are the same as my crush on Howard Leese the ones on males in my proximity led to tragedy and heartbreak that only a teenager can understand and a woman can reflect upon.

Speaking of Heart and love, there are four types of love in which the band has had an impact on my life. In the family aspect I wouldn't have discovered the band without my mother or my older sister introducing me to the Heart album in the first place. My sister had the poster which I commandeered as I got older (and still have) and my mother had the cassette tape which I also took and as well being the source of where most of my Heart album purchases came from until I had jobs and money of my own. Where love fits into friendship that can also become almost like a family, I have that in spades and also have lost a love like that which can never be replaced.

So Heart fans are called Heartmongers and there are many of us over the world we may like different albums, songs and incarnations of the lineup but the main denominator is the Wilson sisters and their own capacity of the four loves: they are family, friends, wives, mothers and of course they wish for love to all their fans and others in general. I would not have met so many of these fans without being on the message board or going to meet and greets and having conversations that are not just only about the band but a love of music in general and finding connections in books and movies as well.

My monger family

I never really had friends until I was eleven years old and I never really understood friendship until I was about nineteen when high school was done and people no longer had their cliques to fall back on and had a chance to make new friendships that could last. When I met Amy Elizabeth Miller (nee Cecil) on the school bus in sixth grade that changed me: being nice to the new girl on the bus route (having gone to different elementary schools) and actually having someone be nice to me. Now we had a lot of ups and downs with our friendship in the being with my aforementioned knack to bend the truth but soon I gave that up when it nearly destroyed my friendship with not only Amy but our friend Sarah Payne (nee Graybeal) who I was introduced to by Amy and the three of us were The Musketeers for the longest time until we all kind of drifted apart around college. Amy and I never really lost touch completely our lives just moved in different paths: she got married and moved away to Michigan while I stayed in Kentucky.

2009 concert with my bestie

One thing that always connected us was Heart, which I introduced her to. It was finally nice to have some to share my love of the band with and not be looked at like a weirdo anymore and it made our friendship stronger to have something in common and realize just how good we were for each other. I had finally found the other twin to my Gemini half, a little sister I had always wanted to have and the one person I thought would always be there for me. Sadly, on March 31st of this year, cancer took my best friend from me and left so many of us devastated with her passing. Amy would have been thirty-three like me and like me we both wanted children to be the godmothers of and pass on the love of Heart we shared...I will never find another person like Amy. I may meet new people and develop friendships with them but no one can replace the kinship I had with Amy. Even though I have had such a catastrophic blow delivered to my spirit, I still have my heart and Heart to bring me peace as no Heart song no matter how melancholy makes me sad enough to cry even in pain.

2004 Monger Meet Amy's first concert

Even though I may have lost the other half of my Gemini heart, I still have my family and my extended family and as well as the other love everyone needs: romance. As stated I have had crushes on celebrities and normal average guys. I have liked nice guys, funny guys and jerky jocks, drama guys even geeky nerds and bad boys but as I told you nothing ever really panned out. In college I had a relationship that lasted about ten months which was going a little fast from his end and I guess no pun intended but quite ironically my heart was not in it. It was a long distance relationship and he was very nice to me but there was just no romantic spark there even though we had a few things in common. Now even though I said it moved faster on his end it got to a point where it seemed he was growing tired of me and if it was because I didn't feel anything more passionate then he would have liked, I'm sorry but I can't apologize for how my heart feels.

It didn't hurt me as bad as I thought it would and I moved on thanks to my friends and my online Heartmonger family. So when we all talked about sharing our pictures so we could all see what each other looked like a young man I was talking to had his picture up before mine and I immediately told him that he was hot because to me he was! I had developed my type very early in life: tall, dark and handsome and of course musicians or musically inclined men who could sing or write didn't hurt either. So pushed on by the brown-eyed, goatee but still clean-shaven boy next door looks of a guy only a year older than me who liked Heart's 70s and more hard rock style and could play guitar, I posted my own pic and when he commented that I looked really good thanks to a Halloween night of going out as a cross between Stevie Nicks-Nancy Wilson-Madonna 80s style we began talking even more but growing into something different.

The picture that began it all...

We finally met face to face after eight months of talking to each other privately, me in Kentucky and Nathan in Indiana of all places, and the chemistry was instant. There are times when we did not see eye to eye on certain elements and even now disagree on music, movies and other things but he has always been there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on, financial assistance or a more level-headed personal opinion. That first encounter was May 8th of 2004, June 30th of 2013 I moved to Greencastle, Indiana to be with him. We became engaged in August of 2014 and on March 10th of 2015, the love of my life became my husband. Being married for a year and almost four months, we haven't really changed much except being older and maybe a little jaded where Nathan is the brain and I am the heart.

Our wedding day at the courthouse

My romantic life may not be satin sheets, champagne and roses and all the fairy tale fantasy I read in my books or write about in my stories and poems but we have trust, honesty, love and the glue, the foundation of this relationship started thanks to Heart. A mutual respect of Ann and Nancy Wilson's talents have brought us to a Heart concert every year since I moved in with Nathan so when we go to our fourth show on July 17th, it will be my second meet and greet/ VIP experience and my husband's first. I am glad I could make this happen for him because for a man who has been through so much with me and has put up with so much from me, Nathan deserves this and I am so glad I deserve a man like him to try and keep me grounded.

The love of my life...two halves of a whole...

I am lucky to have family and friends and such a positive influence in my life because I think without any of these things, I may not even be here today. Almost all my life I think I have been bipolar or manic depressive if you prefer but wasn't diagnosed as such until I was a sophomore in high school. I think my mother started to worry about me because she and my dad had seen my constant teasing and shunning and need to belong but didn't think it was worth me dying to do so.

Columbine happened and my mother knowing the person I am knew I wouldn't take my rage out on my classmates but out on my self with the low esteem I had even questioning my own sexuality because boys didn't like me as more than a friend or I felt so unattractive that I couldn't see why such a nice person couldn't be liked and had to be constantly ridiculed. Since I was seven or eight, I have been tormented, pushed, tripped, barked at like a dog, oinked at like a pig and my god so much worse...

I'd come home some days from the school bus stop with spitwads all over my back, gum matted so cruelly in my hair that I had to have it cut out and then adopted short hair for the rest of my school going days to keep from being bald, having to walk in the rain or the snow because the other kids chanted "Make Courtney walk!" so I the bus driver wouldn't have to go down my street at all (one day this was done to me in high heeled Mary Janes because I decided to dress up for Valentine's Day at school but yet received no Valentines except from my parents.) I once had a plastic container of peaches in that heavy syrup thrown at me where it got all over my mother's Old Navy shirt I decided to wear that day and since she couldn't come get me I had to suffer all day as a sticky mess, sniggered at behind hands of every person who witnessed it.

A boy I had a crush on decided that the letter I mailed to his house would be fun to read out loud and even my apology letter for embarrassing him was laughed at...and by a teacher no less! The worst thing was receiving a letter in Geometry class saying that I was an ugly hunchbacked mistake that my parents should have left on the side of the road and how they must have been embarrassed to have such disappointment for a child. That one always hurt me the most and still does linger in my brain from time to time especially when I read or see stories of young girls cyber-bullied to the point that they kill themselves because you know I believed that stuff when I was younger. I know now that I wasn't a mistake but that doesn't mean I don't feel like a disappointment for the way I use to act especially around the time when my father was sick and dying.

Graduation from high school is when you are supposed to be celebrating a new chapter in life but mine was relief of finally getting away from people who tormented me for almost half of my existence. I didn't even really get to celebrate that aspect because my father was stricken with Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma and a former shadow of my handsome, artistic and healthy daddy that I was having a hard time dealing with his death. He got to see me walk forward to get my diploma but then being so sick he had to go home. When I should have been planning my graduation party, we were planning my father's funeral and I had to be strong for my mom to make up for being such a brat and not saying good-bye to a man who did a lot for me.

I think I'm a lot like my daddy in that way that I know when emotions can't be expressed but it doesn't mean you don't have just show them in other ways. My father stood up for me when people bullied me and it didn't embarrass me to have him come to school or step on that bus with his cane because he was so sick he needed it to help him made me proud and when he could still put the fear of God in you being in the pain he was suffering it showed me why I could never truly kill myself: I had too much pride and strength in my roots to be such a coward and even though I was extremely bratty...I wasn't selfish enough to cause pain to those I love.

Maybe I threaten to kill myself to get attention I can hear someone say and perhaps it is true on a certain psychological level but then again I don't have a degree in Psychology. You know it would be sad if that is the only way someone can get attention and if they do it's too missed your chance to help them. Back when I was younger that was how I felt that if I killed myself it would be the only way that people would finally notice me in a way that wasn't out of hate or to be the punchline of some cosmic joke. My parents didn't own guns so that avenue never would have been an option but you don't know how many times I contemplated ways to do it...options that still have a tendency to creep up in the back of my mind when ever I am hitting a low point in my life. I watch horror movies and blood sometimes twists my stomach or a passage in a horror novel will make my skin crawl so the thought of a razor blade piercing my skin makes me want to faint even as I type this so that was never an option.

Where I lived in my teen years, we had a detached garage and the thought of going in there and starting my mother's car or my daddy's truck with the door shut always had an appeal but we had neighbors who were really good friends of ours and I also knew that in such a rural area that was mostly quiet, I'd get too much attention so I scraped that. The last option that I was also very close to actually doing was overdosing on any kind of pill or medicine I could find or maybe some dishwashing liquid or drain cleaner. That Valentine's Day I mentioned in 1996? That was the day I almost did it.

Walking that icy, snowy hill upwards toward my house, I was in tears and angry at the world that I had no friends and so much hate directed toward me for what I can only determine now as either jealousy or just stupidity. My parents were gone so I unplugged every phone in the house and was determined to find something to take that would just end my miserable life. I was planning to do it in the bathroom me and my mother shared because it had a tub/shower enclosure so my parents couldn't find me easily as I was going to turn the shower head on...scalding hot water at first that would probably be ice cold when they realized my shower was taking a little too long. What stopped me that day you ask? Why is it I am still here to tell this to you? In order to get to the bathroom I had to pass my bedroom door across the hall and on a day when no one had given me some cheap little Valentine with a cheesy pun, I saw the gifts my parents had gotten me: a small heart-shaped box of chocolates, a red and white stuffed hippo and a red lace and silk nightgown.

I think I was stunned because they weren't home but these gifts were here and then of course I cried because the two people who mattered who did care loved me. I looked up and saw my Heart poster on the wall and had another sobering thought: what would I be doing nothing but hurting my parents and shaming the only people that had always been there? I did not know any of the band personally, had never met them because I was too young and realized if I did this I might never get to meet them. One day I could have a chance to say that their music saved me and their influence made me want to be the kind of women Ann and Nancy were, to try and pursue a talent like Howard, Mark and Denny had for the guitar or bass or drums.

Slowly, I turned around and proceeded to plug in every phone line, go to the bathroom to turn out the light and then kick a hole in the wall beside it. All I did was go to my room, put on the nightgown that my mother had clearly given me, put on the head phones of my Walkman with the Brigade album on cassette. I climbed onto my water bed, turned on my lamp, ate my chocolates and hugged that hippo as I stared up at the ceiling with tears streaming down my face.

I don't want sympathy, I don't want pity...I just want people to understand. If you stayed to read this, I do appreciate it. I needed to get this off my chest, I need to cleanse the negativity I have in my soul because some people never got to hear the things I felt. People who know me now need to understand why I am the way I am...why I take things so seriously and feel things so passionately, why I sometimes go a little crazy with my crying or why I can be the bitch I sometimes facets are complex. I have lost so much and gained a lot of negativity and positive feelings for me are rare these days.

The world doesn't help with the way it is but I want a light to come out of this darkness we all seem to be feeling lately. Don't take your life for granted, don't take someone else's life for granted either you could be destroying someone the same way I was almost destroyed. The things and people you love and enjoy fuck it if others can't see the happiness they bring you whether you love a man or a woman, love Lady Gaga or Beyoncé , like cheesy sci-fi films or horror as long as you keep it in a positive place.

I am not about to say that I am the number one Heart fan in the entire world or even on the planet Earth but if you ask anyone who knows me they will pretty much tell you that you will find no bigger Heart fan than me. Yes, I guess you could say I am fanatical about Heart but if you look up the word in a thesaurus and had to say I was addicted or obsessive you make me sound like I am some stalker. Now if you said I was passionate about Heart or devoted to Heart then I would find it more accurate and believe me, I would approve the term. So if that fact bothers you or makes you wary of my sanity, I'm sorry if the truth of a little girl never giving up on her heroes even now bothers you.

I hope some day my children can find this on the Internet and be proud of me for being so blunt and truthful about the way I feel. Maybe our world will be better by then and I can see it for myself. As for now, I hope I made others feel proud and not ashamed to speak up. What you do matters and does affect those around you and if you have to be cruel to be kind, let it not be with words or actions. If you have lost someone in your life, whether it be a wife or friend or parent or even a childhood idol, it is not the end. There is still someone who loves you and music of course can help with the healing.

I don't know what lies in store for my blog in the future but at least I know a part of me feels healed and the future can only be half full or half empty...what ever the world wants to make it.

Dedicated in loving memory to my father William Leroy Lones (12/28/1943-06/05/2001) and my best friend Amy Elizabeth Cecil Miller (06/20/1983-03/31/2016)

Courtney Yvette Lones Gruenholz

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Top 10 Hottest Disney Animated Men

Well I'm back and as I promised this time I will be discussing the top 10 Disney animated guys that I find to be the most attractive. Now of course there are a quite a lot of Disney men to choose from and believe me I had a hard time just trying to choose ten of them! As with my other list of animated men not from Disney flicks the qualities of personality, attractiveness and even the voice acting of the actors portraying these Disney hunks had a lot to do with whom I chose. Also again everyone has their own opinions so don't be cruel or harsh on my choices or reasons for why I find them to be attractive...just enjoy these guys if any of them strike your fancy, ladies ;) !! Gentlemen, if any are reading this, you may need to take some notes and if not I give you permission for a few stifled laughs...

#10. Prince Naveen of Maldonia from The Princess And The Frog voiced by actor Bruno Campos
So of course Naveen starts off a little on the conceited side to most people being a womanizing, playboy prince who is lazy and irresponsible but who can blame someone that has been pampered all their life? Well it's proven that Naveen isn't entirely just a pretty face he is well educated and can play a mean ukulele he just isn't very skilled at anything else like making food or even genuinely courting a girl he has feelings for. His relationship with Tiana starts of rocky but in the end he is loyal to her and puts her own needs before his own which in real life is how some men become once they fall in love and become husbands or even fathers.
Most of my reason why I like Naveen comes from his voice actor, Bruno Campos. I first saw him in what has probably become my favorite episode of Cold Case in Season 5 called "Lonely Hearts" (mostly because Heart's "Alone" plays at the end but I digress...) He played a con man who romanced women and then stole from them but eventually fell in love with one of his marks and became devastated when she was murdered.
 Anyway, his looks are very nice and his voice is charming whether it handles an American accent or even the one he uses for Naveen which is French and his natural Portuguese accent mixed together (he was born in Brazil where Portuguese is the official language for any of you unaware...) Today he does occasional acting but is mostly working as a litigation associate for a law firm so if you need a handsome lawyer to represent you odds are this hunky actor might be it!
#9. Hercules from the 1997 film voiced by actor Tate Donovan
Who wouldn't want a guy like Hercules as a boyfriend? Sure he's the son of the gods Zeus and Hera (only in Disney Canon...the Greek mythology is loads more complicated!) gifted with super strength and could actually be considered a prince but being raised as a mortal gives him a more down to Earth personality. We all probably know or remember being awkward and clumsy when we were younger or being very gangly and out of place and that's exactly how a younger Hercules felt. Despite that he grows up and besides developing a nice body and a slightly less sense of awkwardness when it comes to his strength causing damage but not in his normal earnest personality or wooing women. Not a playboy like Naveen, Hercules still falls in love with Meg(ara) from the moment he sees her and she eventually comes to love him after seeing his compassion and who wouldn't want a man to risk their very lives if it meant saving yours and almost dying in the process!?
I don't think they could have picked a better actor than Tate Donovan to voice Hercules. He conveys through his voice the character's awkward, shy yet compassionate nature towards others but also the anger needed to make Hercules a true hero in fighting Hades without making him seem the over muscled brute of ancient mythology or even gritty reboots. My first so biased favorite film of Donovan's has to be Love Potion #9 where he played almost the exact same character and goes to show nice guys can get the girl and in real life if you used to date Sandra Bullock and Jennifer Aniston then you must be doing something right!

#8. Captain Phoebus from The Hunchback Of Notre Dame voiced by actor Kevin Kline
The Hunchback of Notre Dame made into a film you are going to show your children has to have a lot toned down and even though it is still one of the more adult and darker toned DISNEY films I'm so glad they made Phoebus less of a jerk! In the novel, Phoebus is an arrogant, vain and prideful man who only uses Esmeralda for sex, has a fiancée he cheats on and then causes the death of others with no remorse! In this interpretation, Phoebus is a soldier and Captain of The Guard who is for justice as long as innocent people are not hurt or killed, has a sarcastic yet funny wit and a heart of gold that befits his sun god name.
I am not ashamed to admit that I have a crush on Kevin Kline and while you may think it's just because I have an affinitive for older men you couldn't be more wrong it is his extreme talent that impresses me. He has won Tony awards, is a marvelous Shakespearean actor which makes him great at drama, has a comedic wit that won him an Academy Award and never fails to make me laugh as well as being a humanitarian volunteer in the research of juvenile diabetes because his son was diagnosed with it. Also he has been married to actress Phoebe Cates since 1989 (that's almost 30 years!) so all the boys who wanted her thanks to Fast Times At Ridgemont High lucked out when she married the charismatic Kline, a man sixteen years her senior! So I guess there is a point in liking older men especially if it's someone like Kevin Kline who can make you laugh and then recite you a sonnet of The Bard enough to move you to tears and sweep you off your feet at the same time!
#7. Tarzan from the 1999 film voiced by actor Tony Goldwyn
I would imagine in real life if you met a man who had been raised by gorillas his whole life, never wore clothes bigger than a hand towel and had dreadlocks nowhere as nice as Bob Marley's because it wasn't part of your faith but because you never got to experience a nice shampoo massage on your scalp you might not be so inclined to date him. Tarzan has always been romanticized with his muscled arms, trim abs and loincloth to reveal a lot more skin so it's kind of nice to see a gentle personality bring more to the table than beefcake. Found after his parents are killed by a leopard and raised as the son of a female gorilla, Tarzan looks nothing like his adoptive family so he is also shunned from being a son to Kerchak, the leader of gorillas and mate to Kala.
When Jane Porter and her father arrive from England to study gorillas, she meets Tarzan and the two become fascinated with each other and end up falling in love. Since he is a man and not an ape, Tarzan soon starts to speak rather eloquent English, walking more upright and is seen to be rather intelligent in imitating motions from moving pictures and gunshots, building umbrellas from tree leaves and even looks good in a suit! Intimidating when called for with his intense eyes and famous yell, Tarzan can also be very gentle with those same eyes, almost puppy-dog like, and those same hands that can kill a leopard end up examining Jane's face with such tenderness.
Now when I learned Tony Goldwyn was the voice behind Tarzan at first I was skeptical that the same guy who played evil Carl Bruner that ended up being the guy to kill Patrick Swayze's Sam Wheat by hiring his murderer in Ghost was the same man playing the non-evil and kind-hearted Tarzan. I guess that's the power of Goldwyn's acting going from being such a jerk to such a great Disney character and now he plays a president with a mistress on Scandal. Not only is Tony Goldwyn a brilliant actor but he is also a film director, television director and son of the late movie producer Samuel Goldwyn Jr. which makes him the grandson of one of the movie industry's pioneers. He may have been born to privilege but Tony's talent and good looks are his own and boy does he own them!

#6. Kristoff from Frozen voiced by Broadway actor Jonathan Groff
Yes like many, many...many people I love Frozen! The plot lines pay homage and differentiate from the Disney norms with less romantic love and more familial love between sisters but still produces beautiful animation and ear-worm songs that enchant and annoy. The characters are some of the most popular, complex and almost human characters for people to relate to, sympathize with, laugh with and maybe for you Disney haters to I guess criticize and even loathe. Kristoff is one of those Disney men that is far more realistic to those usual slender built or athletically gifted princes and heroes but gets his brawn from hauling and harvesting ice which is hard work that most of the others have never had to do in their lives.
He's also realistic in how romance is supposed to work and in how most men act because in reality you aren't going to be meeting a prince to wed along every street corner especially if you are an American like me who lives in the small town (I've got my man who is more like Kristoff in that fact and I'm okay with that.) Some of us are also like Kristoff in the fact that we don't really like to keep company with people as most are unkind but we do get along well with those closest to us that we have genuine love and affection toward (like our pets even!) So personality wise Kristoff is relatable but he is also realistically attractive with his warm brown eyes, broad shoulders and a blond hairstyle that without his hat is sported by more men or at least the ones I know than the perfectly coifed hair of many a Disney man.
I have to admit that Jonathan Groff is quite a cutie and man can he sing! As much as I detest Glee (people who like the show don't hurt me!) I have heard his Broadway vocals from Spring Awakening on YouTube and he has a very nice singing voice. He has also been in the soap opera One Life To Live ( one I don't watch but unless its General Hospital I don't really watch them...) so the television roles aren't as fruitful as the theater ones or as famous as Kristoff but you know he's young to have a successful career for many, many more years. I also am proud that he is an open gay man in the industry and he seems to be a great role model for any other younger men who may still feel ashamed about their sexuality and afraid to come out (but yet again I state why do all the cute ones have to be gay?) Another good one of the market for us ladies *sigh* but a potential love match for some lucky gentleman out there ;)...
#5. Aladdin from the 1992 film voiced by actor Scott Weinger
When Aladdin came out in 1992, it was the Disney film of the moment and was the big thing until The Lion King came out but even then it still had relevance as it spawned two sequels and even a television show that I admit I watched every day it was on. I think it's mostly because Aladdin is such a great character that you could flesh out his backstory to reveal a very personable young man that other guys can relate to and that women can crush on with ease. Not having a father or a mother to raise him, young Aladdin pretty much has to take care of himself from a young age which eventually leads to stealing. So when he's a young man in his late teens, even though he goes through mayhem just to get a loaf of bread in the end he'll give it to starving children that remind him of his own struggles and he also won't be afraid to stand up to anyone willing to hurt or degrade others even if he himself is still slightly insecure.
He was originally supposed to be designed with a build like Michael J. Fox but then became more athletic like Tom Cruise but still with those few "Marty McFly" traits. The television show brought more of his backstory into light and in the show, we see he still lives in his hovel instead of the comfort of the palace which rightfully being engaged to Princess Jasmine he could do but doesn't and at times still gets treated like the same old street rat. Despite that, he still has the Sultan's respect and remains true to Jasmine no matter what or who may throw themselves at him (villains and other women included!) By the time the third movie , Aladdin And The King Of Thieves, wraps up the franchise Aladdin is older, wiser and definitely ready to be a leader of Agrabah when his time comes.
As a tween girl in the 90s I know there are many girls out there who crushed hard on Scott Weinger when he played D.J. Tanner's boyfriend Steve Hale on Full House (I was one of them!) and most of them probably didn't realize he had voiced Aladdin until years after the film. I always liked Scott as Steve because he put up with some of the quirkiness and weirdness the Tanner family experienced, didn't mind having Kimmy Gibbler as a third wheel and he really loved D.J. enough to come back and be her senior prom date in the show's last episode despite being broken up for quite sometime (why can't all people and their ex-significant others be as civil in real life?). Still very attractive, Scott is now mostly a writer and producer for Hollywood but he still has time to lend his voice to Aladdin in Kingdom Hearts and still be a first crush for many of us girls of the early 90s.
#4. Prince Hans of The Summer Isles from Frozen voiced by Broadway actor Santino Fontana
Yes I can imagine a lot of booing, hissing and confusion being muttered out there for my fourth choice. I never said it had to be just one guy per film and I never said that villains did not count so let's clear that up. Next to those who ask why I rate Hans higher than Kristoff yes in the plainest of terms it is because I find him more attractive and more my type when it comes to real life men and also sometimes there are villains out there you can't help but crush on in films or on television and mine just happens to be Hans. I think Prince Hans is one of the more terrifying villains in the Disney canon because he's not just right in your face evil...he's hidden behind a handsome, innocent face with a sociopathic mind and that's way more frightening than any witch, sorcerer, dragon or monster.
Some girls may even be with a guy like Hans at this very moment or use to be with him or maybe you all know someone like him and that necessarily doesn't mean they are sociopaths on purpose after all no one takes into consideration that maybe Hans wasn't lying about being bullied by his older brothers and receiving no affection from them or his parents. As it's stated on ABC's Once Upon A Time (where coincidentally Frozen just got done being the main arc of the first half of its fourth season and is one of my favorite shows!) it is always stated that evil isn't born it is made and even in real life that is true or so I hope...
I will admit to you that I know not a lot about Santino Fontana except that he is a Broadway actor with a lovely speaking and singing voice and that he is the same age as my fiancé. The credit on Broadway he is most known for is playing Prince Topher (short for Christopher) in the 2013 version of Cinderella written by Rodgers & Hammerstein which is one of my favorite musicals and one of my favorite fairy tales. So I guess if you would like to hear Santino Fontana (does he not have a fantastic name?) as an actual good and charming prince you can find the soundtrack album and scenes from the show online of course on YouTube.
#3. Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid voiced by actor Christopher Daniel Barnes
Now I can't really remember if I saw The Little Mermaid in the theater but I do know that for my seventh birthday I got a Little Mermaid birthday cake and the movie itself for a birthday present. Yep it was actually the first Disney film I really became infatuated with having dolls, coloring books, t-shirts and jewelry driving that merchandise until The Lion King came out. So of course you know that means that Prince Eric was probably like a dream come true to every girl my age as for most of us he was the first Disney Prince exposed to my generation and how could you not like him? He had perfect black hair, a great smile and cute laugh, lovely blue eyes, loved dogs and could play the flute beautifully.
Even though he was a little distracted in finding his dream girl he treated Ariel (same said dream girl but unknown to him at the time) with respect and showed her about his kingdom when she was without a voice as if she were completely normal without any awkwardness. He was heroic, adventurous and determined but he could also be a daydreamer and a little sullen but that's okay every once in a while and who wouldn't want to live in a beautiful castle by the sea? It was also kind of nice to see Ariel save Eric to show that even though later in the film when she has to be rescued by Eric that she can be just as selfless and heroic depending on the situation and of course we get to see Eric slightly helpless...not just because he's unconscious but something about caring for your man when they are weak as a newborn kitten is endearing.
Christopher Daniel Barnes ( I just love saying his whole name!) was only 16 when he voiced Eric and he had done some television roles before then but you can imagine how his career must have boomed after The Little Mermaid. Nowadays we also think of him as Greg Brady and the voice of Spiderman but he also is the voice for Cinderella's Prince Charming in both of the film's sequels...who else can say they were two princes, a superhero and a groovy, charming  big man on campus? Another thing I remember is his face being in teen magazines all about the grocery store and even hanging on the walls of the older girls in my neighborhood when they had to baby-sit me or I had play dates with their little sisters. Although he does the occasional live action role he is mostly a voice over artist for cartoons and video games mostly for of course Spiderman or Kingdom Hearts. Whether he goes by his full name or his initials or even just Chris, he will also be the voice behind Disney's first and only Prince of the 1980s and the first in their Renaissance. Actually Prince Eric was the first Disney prince in almost thirty years after my second choice...  
#2. Prince Phillip from Sleeping Beauty voiced by actor William "Bill" Shirley
Now Eric may have been the first Disney Prince of my generation but he was not the first Disney Prince I was exposed to...Prince Phillip was. Released on VHS in 1986, it was one of the first Disney films my mother bought me and I have loved the story of Sleeping Beauty ever since and it also technically makes Phillip my first ever crush on an animated male character and probably the archetype of what I find attractive in men (well one of them...) He had that perfect brown hair, beautiful brown eyes, a charming smile, a very lovely singing voice, a playful nature when dealing with his trusted steed Samson and also a very nice dancer. He also seemed to have a very good relationship with his father Hubert despite being more of a forward thinker but despite that he was clearly a dreamer. When he first hears Aurora singing in the forest, he imagines maybe the voice belongs to a wood sprite until he spies her dancing in the forest alongside her animal friends in their make-shift "prince" outfit consisting of his hat, cloak and boots.
Any normal man would think this girl was crazy but Phillip is charmed by her, takes away his "competition" and dances with her in the woods. He startles Aurora but still remains kind and gentle and by the end of their waltz, they are both in love and since he does not know her name or that she is his betrothed princess but just a mere peasant girl, he tells his father he will marry the girl he loves. Phillip was willing to abdicate his future as king of his country to marry a girl below his station after just one afternoon? To a normal person that does sound silly but to a romantic like me (probably the movie that made me so) that is such a sacrifice.
When he gets captured by Maleficent and learns through her taunting of him that his princess is under a spell and needs his kiss to awaken, he is clearly mad and determined to save Aurora and even though the three fairies help him escape the chains and most of the obstacles with magic, its Phillip's heart that drives him own and even though he gets a good "oh crap!" look on his face at Maleficent's dragon form he still fights her and ends up killing off one of Disney's greatest villainesses. If all of this doesn't make Phillip a worthy choice for my top three I don't know what else I could say?
There are not many pictures of Bill Shirley out there and just a small bit of information I could find on him.  He began his acting career young and with mostly bit parts until 20th Century Fox hired him as a "ghost voice" for their actors who could not sing and of course, William Shirley had a beautiful, lyric tenor/baritone. He played Stephen Foster in a 1952 film and then after Sleeping Beauty famously did the singing part for Jeremy Brett as Freddy Eynsford-Hill in My Fair Lady ("On The Street Where You Live" to be precise...). Later in life he became a Broadway theater producer and worked in real estate development before dying in 1989 at the age of 68 :(

So if Prince Philip isn't my number one which Disney man gets the mantle of Hottest Disney character in my book? Some of you may have an idea but if you don't all I can tell you is that the movie is fairly recent in the Disney canon and a film that I just could not stop watching and the hero is just one of the reasons why...
#1. Flynn Rider aka Eugene Fitzherbert from Tangled voiced by actor Zachary Levi
So why do I love Flynn/Eugene above all Disney men? First let's get the physical aspects out of the way: I have a thing for the tall, dark and handsome guys so of course having brown hair and brown eyes is a point in his favor and his very nice and trim goatee doesn't hurt (I like goatees on men; my fiancé sports a nice one at times).  Also if you hadn't noticed he is kind of strong and athletically built as seen during the break in to the castle (some serious parkour moves like freaking Spiderman!) and climbing up Rapunzel's tower the first time (upper arm strength just using arrows driven into stone?...just wow!) Flynn is also more down to Earth than Rapunzel and a little more serious until some of her quirky charm rubs off on him but you learn that young Eugene had a rough life growing up. He was an orphan (Fitzherbert seriously means bastard son of Herbert...poor kid) who wanted be like the hero in the stories he read to the younger children (hence the name change) but realized that you may need money so he turned to being a thief and kind of ending up in trouble by running with the wrong kind of crowd.
So being kind of driven by envy and greed would make him almost un-heroic but Flynn also has charm and a sense of humor that can work in his favor or just get him in even more trouble but saves him from being a complete jerk. Eventually he grows thanks to Rapunzel's love by going by his given name, smiling more than smirking and also putting someone else before himself. The moment I think that made me completely become a Eugene gal was during the song "I See The Light" and not just because the voice singing sounded like it came from angels! Earlier in the film during the "I've Got A Dream" song Flynn said he didn't sing but then was kind of forced to and it was just going through the motions and singing about his own selfish dreams. During this moment not only is it a love epiphany for both he and Rapunzel but it's when you see how he has grown and changed as the song comes from his heart and well you can guess what that new dream is...
To tell you the truth all I knew about Zachary Levi before Tangled was that he was a very attractive guy playing a character named Chuck. I had no idea he had such a lovely voice so after hearing him sing in Tangled I was very impressed! I admit I didn't really get into Chuck just because of Tangled but I do follow Zachary Levi on Twitter and appreciate his humor and the passion of his causes he tweets about from time to time. I know a lot of people out there believe most people follow celebrities on Twitter to be total stalkers but I follow anyone who makes an impression on me and like finding out that they are as normal as you and me. They may never answer you back but I'm sure they appreciate that you enjoy what they do and believe me I pay a little bit more attention to Zachary Levi's career (if you ever get a chance to see the made for TV movie Remember Sunday that he starred in...prepare to have boxes of Kleenex or at least a bucket for your tears whether they be happy or sad!)
So there you have it my Top Ten Hottest Disney Animated Men. If I had a guy on here that you didn't agree with, I am so sorry but don't hate. As I said there are a lot of Disney guys to choose from and it was kind of hard to narrow it down to just ten based on physical traits and human attributes that I find appealing. I don't make lists to pander to anyone else's ideas and enjoy sharing my opinions and hope that you will enjoy them just as much. If you feel I left a certain character off this list feel free to let me know just please don't be hateful so I don't have to be hateful back there's too much of that going around today...
I hope you'll come back and see what I have up my sleeve next time so until then I hope you enjoy my latest post and give my older ones some love if you wish ;) but no big if you don't...